Exploring the Spiritual Depths of Retreats Inspired by Saint Peter Julian Eymard

Saint Peter Julian Eymard dedicated his life and teachings to the Eucharist, the sum of our hope and faith. In this reflection, I am going to discuss his method for a Eucharistic retreat. In this blog I will discuss days 1-4 of a four day retreat. My intent is not to exhaust but to inspire you!

One does not need a retreat master, or a fancy place with terrific meals and scenery; one needs only faith, determination. and a desire to adore and love our Lord in the Eucharist.

The retreat that I will focus on is the second of his retreats, which he prepared for his new order, the Congregation of the Blessed Sacrament. The retreat can be found in volume 3 of a 9 volume series on his writings. The meditation is for six days. In this blog, I will focus on the first four days. The retreats are eight days long. Here, I will consider the first for days only.

Retreat Two

Emyard recommends a fixed time for rising. I have found early morning to be a very effective time to pray the office of lauds and to re consecrate myself to Mary. He recommends an examination of conscience at noon, and a spirit of humility and thankfulness for being allowed to spend time with God. In our modern day society, I find I am often rushed. However, it is a good practice not to rush off after daily Mass, but to spend at least 15 minutes before the tabernacle. We use this time to thank God and make time for Him.

As for examination of conscience, I find it most fruitful if I ask myself when was I closest to God during the day and why, and conversely, when I was most distant from God and why. When I am stuck, I pray to Our Lady of Sorrows to show me my hidden sins. It never fails but I first assure Our Lady that I can handle what will be shown to me.

This is an eight day retreat. You do not need to go to an isolated cabin or retreat house, this retreat can be done in your home. ImEach day on the retreat has three meditations which are to be read during the day. They are guideposts.

DAY ONE AND PREPARATION

The mindset is very important. It is important that we do not rush, or get angry or have any expectations. The purpose of this retreat is to simply apply ourselves to be open to the will of God, to accept that will, and mediate through Mary.

Each day has three meditations. While they can be read quickly, I believe it is important that we space them out and allow ourselves the time to contemplate them. I will write on four days rather than the entirety.

Meditation one

The first meditation is to consider the fact that God created us for Himself. He gave us gifts and talent and He created us body and infused us with an immortal soul. We are made in the image of God. God wishes for us, that He is our sole end. That our lives reflect His love, and we bask in the priviledge of knowing Him as He gives us both love and grace.

Unfortunately, we have not loved Him the way we should. We often consider others, or pleasures or our lives as more important than our relationship with God. In this meditation, therefore we ask God for forgiveness for our coldness and indifference towards Him. We ask Him to forgive us.

I will take the pathway of love in order to arrive at virtue, in order to die to self and to the world and to live henceforth only in Jesus and in His Resurrection. volume 3, page 97 Emyard library

This is our direction and orientation to our lives. There are many people who spend their entire lives on careers, or family, or pleasure but they forget who created them and more important why we were created. We are created for God alone.

Meditation two (best done around noon)

Graces of preservation.

How shall we thank God?

In this meditation, we reflect on the many ways in which God has both protected and preserved us. We reflect on the many times and occassion where we could have strayed into sin. Our lives have been preserved by God in the hope that we return to Him and recognize our sins.

We ask ourselves, are we really sorry for our sins? God's goodness has both preserved and protected us. How many times have we been given a wise word by a friend, or someone who has come into our life. How many times have our angels protected us from danger and kindly reminded us to pray. It is said that if the demons were visible, they would block out the sun. How much more the angels, the hosts of angels who watch over us and preserve and protect us. God only asks in return that we love Him, wholly and entirely.

As we develop in loving God and establishing a deep connection to God, these acts of protection, hitherto thought of as luck, become clearer to us and we realize that God Himself walks beside us, silently but with a protective hand on our shoulder.

Meditation three

The third meditation, done in the afternoon or early evening, invites us to consider the price that was paid for us to be able to be in a relationship with God. The price paid, was the crucifixion. It is helpful in this meditation to do so in front of a crucifix or an image of the Holy Face of Jesus and consider his wounds.

Jesus loves us so much, that He gave up His life in pain and humiliation. This was always a tremendous mystery to me. God could easily have redeemed us by one tear, or one sigh or simply declaring us forgiven. If that happened, we would not have understood the depths of the love that God has for us. Jesus willingly gave up His life for us. God Himself died so that we may be saved and have access to Him.

In order to understand the love of God, it is necessary that we embrace the cross and weep with thankfulness.

St. Emyard goes on to say that many people may know Him as Redeemer, but they do not really know Him because they are unwilling to give up their sins or love of the world.

But as for me,I have been saved from the snares of the world. Jesus has broken my chains and made me free. He is my Saviour! How many thanks I owe him. Ibid. page 103

We live for Him and for Him alone.

This is not to say that we quit our jobs and become hermits in a cave, but it does order our lives by making our love of God, our primary and chief focus. It orders the rest of our lives.

I would end the days meditation with the service of compline. The finest version of compline that I am aware of, can be found on Youtube. It is Compline by Harpa Dei and is a beautiful way to end a day.

DAY TWO MEDITATIONS

The second day focuses on our need for redemption and salvation. In order to love God it is important to understand that we are in dire need of redemption. It is a sad reality today in our churches that everyone goes up for Communion, but very few go to Confession. We believe that we are okay, or even good, and that we do not need confession (which means redemption) because we know how to govern ourselves.

Many faithful have a very childish understanding of sin and look at it only externally. Our sinful nature, however, our fallen nature affects everything we do. It causes distraction, it causes us to rely on God's mercy, without thinking of His justice. We look to the Mass for comfort and even entertainment. We hastily confess our sins in a ritualistic fashion during Mass, but we do not really examine our consciences to know the depth of our depravity. What a delicate instrument is our soul. It grows and unites itself with the Living God, but we need to continually cleanse ourselves of habits and sins, lest our soul become crippled, and die.

Our wills are very weak and sinful. We rarely spend time in study or meditation. Our bodies are undisciplined and we do not have the strength to discipline our bodies with mortification to draw us closer to God. Our stomachs rule us, and our desire for pleasure dominates our thoughts.

Our own fallen nature gives us a propensity to sin. Every sin, makes this propensity stronger. We are infected with the vice of inordinate self -love, or pride. Our will resists the law and commands of God, and we ignore them making excuses and being unwilling to see what we truly are or are becoming.

Oh, how greatly I need Jesus' grace of humility in order to heal the wounds pride has made in me! How much I need His love to counteract impure love,His strength to fortify my will, His modesty and mortification to heal my body and restore it to the honour and strength of virtue. I need the Blood of Jesus to mingle withmy blood, to clear it and make it pure. I need His Body to revive my body, His Soul to give life to my soul. ibid. p. 106

Second meditation, the goodness of the patience of God

Saint Emyard reflects on the state of his soul, and his sinfulness. It is true for all of us. There were times in our lives when God was far from us, and we went our own way, often in a state of mortal sin. Yet God, patiently waited for us. For me, it was returning to the Roman Catholic Church that I had left when I was 14 years old. I cohabited outside of marriage for many years and spent time as a Protestant minister. I preached against the Catholic Church and our Blessed Mother. It is only recently that God called me back. For all those long years, He waited and preserved me from death while I was in mortal sin.

Oh God, how was I able for so long to resist giving myself entirely to Thee? What had I to lose by giving up all in order to possess Thee? What did I give up that was so great and precious in in return for Thy love and Thy grace? Oh my God, why did I love Thee so little and so late? ibid. p 108

Third mediation

The mercy of God. As Saint Emyard writes:

God has forgiven me, and with such great love that I ought to weep tears of gratitude for it continually. ibid p 109

God rejoices when we turn to Him. As Saint Emyard notes, His love for us is like the Father of the prodigal son. The Father does not even listen to the speech that the son wrote, rather He rejoices.

We are simply told to love Him and to sin no more. This is the pardon He gave to those He forgave while on earth. It is the pardon God gives to us.

St. Emyard writes that he finds it hard to forgive himself for having so offended God. Yet despite our sins and our unworthiness we are allowed to participate in the grace of interior devotion and prayer. We are given the tremendous grace of loving God. We are allowed to go to Holy Communion.

God has forgiven us for loving Him so poorly. We beg for the grace to love Him with all of our being, knowing that He does not recall the times when we shamefully neglected or dishonoured Him,

These meditiatons go beyond our obligations and touch on our hearts, bringing us to an understanding of how unworthy we are to be loved by God, and yet, how kindly, patiently and lovingly He treats us. As St. Emyard notes we should indeed weep tears of gratitude for His love continually.

DAY THREE MEDITATIONS

The First meditation

The object here is to understand the tremendous love that God has for us. Jesus has loved us first. Jesus seeks us and have loved us from all eternity.

Jesus planned our births and knows our inner beings and souls. He continually gives us graces and blessings and has prepared a place for us.

While this realization gives us tremendous comfort, the sad reality is that we do NOT love Jesus as we ought. We shed tears when we think of His broken body and wounded face at the crucifixion, and we marvel at the love and mercy of Jesus while he was on earth. We must always strive to love Jesus more and more!

Jesus loves us personally. He knows us, and it is as if we are the only ones He loves. It is quite remarkable when we think of the different ways Jesus has chosen to reach people so that they may be touched by His grace and brought to Him. Our Lord uses intermediaries, such as teachers, priests, or parents to show us the incredible and intense love that Jesus has for us. When I look back at my life, I see many occasions and times where things happened in my life to lead me to Him. He was like the bridegroom seeking His bride. This realization makes us aware to be careful of the friends we chose, or the work that we do. Do our friends bring us closer to our loving God? Does our work enable us to glorify God in all we do?

Jesus through the Eucharist becomes our constant companion and lives in us in a very intimate way. If we are in the state of grace, our very bodies become temples of the Holy Spirit and in this way, a fitting dwelling place for our Lord. We are masterpieces, created in the image of a loving God, such that our very flesh, when supported by a healthy soul, can become a walking tabernacle and we bring the presence of our Lord to all that we meet. We become sanctified and begin to reflect Jesus more and more.

Oh my God, with the love that is Thine, I understand the Incarnationand the Holy Eucharist, which is its extension to me.

Eucharistic Retreats, the Eymard library, page 115

I must either love Thee, or hate Thee- there is no middle way.

Meditation two

We must give ourselves entirely to God.

In our world there are many distractions and obligations that we must fulfill. The world has become very complex. When I visit my neice in New York state, I am always impressed by the Amish, who live on farms and do not use electricity or the internet. Their world is one of family, work and simpler pleasures. I sometimes think it would be easier to give one's life entirely to God if our life was simpler.

To consecrate ourselves to God, we must make every effort NOT to offend Him. In our distracted world, we can test this by asking ourselves what is the very first thing we do when we wake up. Do we thank God for a new day? Do we begin our day in prayer? Or do we start our days in distraction by checking the latest news, or social media, or checking our emails. I have decided to move my phone out of my bedroom when I go to bed, such that in the morning, I can begin by thanking God and not the internet!

We must also consecrate ourselves to His service. This requires an understanding of and a willingness to listen to the Holy Spirit. We can create prayer routines and do many outward acts that show we are in His service, but I think the most important element is to practice mental prayer to love God and then to be aware of the workings and pleadings of the Holy Spirit. St. Peter Julian Emyard adds that we must practice deep devotion and reverence while at Mass and not allow ourselves to be distracted. As he notes, we are to pay attention only to our King.

I have found that praying to St. Michael the Archangel helps when I feel my attention wandering. When we are at Mass, the devil does his very best to create thoughts in our minds to distract us. To be distracted at Mass is to treat our God with contempt.

Meditation three

We resolve to love God above everything else.

My God, this resolution comes late, I know, but with all my heart I am Thine and will forever be Thine.

Eucharistic reteats, Emyard Library page. 119

To love and to serve.

This mediation makes realize that to serve Jesus, we must not only place Him first, but essentially die to ourselves. We need to place Him first above all other things and to rejoice in our service even if it causes us pain. To serve Jesus will be the aim and goal of our life henceforth.

To serve Jesus means to obey and love Him but it also means that as we serve Him, we follow Him and act in love and mercy towards all whom we meet.

In funerals often, people will speak of the accomplishments of the deceased, the wealth and so forth but, sadly, at times no one says they loved the deceased or that the deceased loved others. To act as Jesus, to serve Him means we must learn how to love those around us, without reservation. While it is easy to love those we like, the challengs is to love those that we do not like. Do we love our noisy co-worker who leaves rotting food on their desk, causing the office to smell? Do we love the troublemaker in our group, the one who talks too much or too little? Do we take the time from our lives to place others ahead of us?

Dr. Peter Kwasniewski in his fine book on the Eucharist speaks very movingly of our love for Jesus as it is expressed in the Eucharist. his book The Holy Bread of Eternal life, Restoring Eucharistic Reverence in an Age of Impiety,Sophia Press, 2020, speaks very movingly of our need to love Jesus.

My God, I believe, I adore, I trust and I love you! I ask for pardon for those who do not believe, do not adore, do not trust and do not love you. (3x)

We dedicate our lives and commit ourselves to Jesus. We do so, for serving but also for asking for pardon for those who do not love. We fail to love the lover.

DAY FOUR

Having meditated on our love for and service to Jesus, we now move towards an even deeper undertanding, namely Jesus is our highest love.

Meditation one

Jesus is our Highest love

Here we ask ourselves, if He is indeed our highest love, do we think of Him often and do we seek Him? If our Love is only on Sundays or when something like a temptation takes us, then we do not love Him as we should. Today's reading at Mass, was about the good Samaritan, When the lawyer was asked about the greatest commandment, he replied to love God with all your heart, soul, mind and body. This orders our lives and we must constantly seek and ask ourselves in we do love God as we must do.

Eymard on page 123, poses the question of why we make so many mistakes. His anwser is that we have not consulted Jesus. Our life in service, consecration and love means that we must ask Jesus before undertaking tasks, going to work or everything we do. Our thoughts lead us astray or distract us because we are not fully connected with Jesus.

Meditation two: The Life of love

How do we live out this love? What does it mean so to do? Emyard point sout that love has two facets one reaching up towards God, but the other towards those around us. Our life in Jesus, if it is genuine, will bear fruit.

It will make us into kinder and more tolerant people. We will start to take on the heart of Jesus within us.

The mortal enemy of our heart is anything or anyone who is against Jesus. Vade Retro Satana!

Third meditation

Holy abandonment to God entails giving everything to God. To accept both the good and the bad experiences and to be entirely conformed to His will. There is a wonderful illustration that comes from the middle ages. It is a giant wheel. At the top is a king, at the bottom is a beggar. As the wheel turns, our fortunes wax and wane. However, if the center of this wheel is Jesus, then if we are fixed to Jesus we will remain stable. The variations of our circumstances do not change our steadfast love for God. That does not change.