St. Boniface if he were alive today
St. Boniface was an indefatigable saint and monk who was born in the year 680. He excelled in learning and character as a monk but felt called to go to the dark forests of Germany. His first mission did not suceed as he was challenged by the king of the region Radbod, of Friesland known for his ferocity.
He returned but this time with a Papal comission where the then Pope gave him the name Boniface.
He went on to form and organize the Catholic church in Germany.
One of his acts was to chop down a massive oak tree which was believed to contain the spirit of the god Thor. The locals believed that anyone who brought an axe to this tree would be killed immediatly by a bolt of thunder.
Fast forward to today, the Freisland Press reporting:
Reports are circulating that an environmental terrorist has made threats to destroy a protected and sacred tree in our grove. This tree has survived many years and deserves to be protected. Environmental groups have formed a living chain around the tree.
The Pope himself has condemned this act of terrorism and has vowed to cancel this monk, or priest for his act against creation. The Pope is well known for his love of creation, having blessed an ancient piece of an iceberg. It is noted that the blessing was short as the ice was melting all over the vatican floor!
The Pope has commanded Cardinal Tucho, the prolific writer of modern classics on sensual spiritualty to draft an order excommunicating the monk, who is said to be a Benedictine and to cancel his order. Plans are already underway to remove the current abbot and replace him with someone far more sympathetic to the current environmental concerns,
The Pope has noted that Germany has long been considered as a land favourable to the green movement, having removed much of its nuclear power sites to be replaced with green power. It is said that the monk will fell the tree with a gas powered saw, which is against the current German environmental laws!
The monk is considered by German law, armed and dangerous! The German prelates invite the faithful to actively resist destruction of this tree and will offer liturgical dancing with coloured vestments to support the protest!
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